Originally Posted September 2008
Trigger # 10 : How to Wash a Jungle Man
Title: How to Wash a Jungle Man
Author: Black-Haired Girl
Fandom: Tarzan? I suppose...
Warnings: This is pretty retarded.
Word Count: 529
Summary: Does "Bathtub" translate into Gorilla?
How to Wash a Jungle Man
Jane slipped through the narrow doorway into the spacious bathroom and pointed down at the blue-painted bathtub.
“Bathtub…” She said quietly to the jungle man who hesitantly poked his head through the doorway. She watched as he sniffed the air and shifted his weight from one foot to the next, apparently displeased with the cold tile against his calloused, bare feet.
“Ba-“ He began before raising both eyebrows high on his forehead, obviously confused by the strange new word. She smiled kindly and pointed down at the tub again.
“Bathtub.” She repeated patiently. He listened intently as she spoke the word before once again trying to speak it with an unaccustomed tongue.
“Bath… tub.” He murmured curiously. Jane smiled brightly and nodded.
“Yes-yes. Bathtub. You wash here. Wash. Your body?” Her words fell upon deaf ears. She had been working with Tarzan for a little more than a month and though he knew the basics he still didn’t seem to have the grasp of the English language that she had hoped for.
He stared at her for a long moment before nodding his head vigorously. “Bathtub. Bath… tub. Wash.”
“Precisely!” Jane exclaimed, very pleased that he had absorbed at least a few of her words. Now she had to test whether the concept had translated. She was not sure if the jungle man had a gorilla word equivalent for bathing. Did gorillas even bathe? Perhaps not.
“Tarzan… you wash here.” She said slowly, pointing into the tub. “Wash…” She lifted her hands to her torso and began rubbing across her chest, trying to illustrate the act of scrubbing to him. He watched her do this. A smile crossed his rugged, yet surprisingly handsome features.
“Wash…” he grumbled. Then, to Jane’s surprise, he approached her and began rubbing his hands across her chest in large, clumsy circular motions. The sudden groping caused her to squeal in surprise. Frantically she began to bat his hands away, a bright red blush creeping across her cheeks.
“No-no-nonono!” She wailed as she fended off the offending hands. “Oh dear, this isn’t working…” With a dismayed sigh she slumped to a sit on the edge of the bathtub. “There has to be some other way to get you clean…”
Tarzan frowned and stood beside her awkwardly, staring at the top of her head, waiting for further instruction.
“Ah ha! I have an idea!” Jane suddenly exclaimed as she leapt to a stand beside the grungy jungle man. “Come, follow me!”
<3 ~~~~~~~~~
“Tarzan no like!” Tarzan yelled in horror as a cold spray of water pelted the back of his matted hair. Jane laughed heartily as she watched the loincloth-clad man crouch low to the ground in attempt to get away.
“Now hold still, you ninny, it will be over in a few minutes!” Jane yelled with a large grin as she pointed the hose at Tarzan’s exposed back. The jungle man howled in protest as he was hosed off. A few neighborhood children had gathered along the white picket fence that surrounded Jane’s father’s yard to watch.
“Now, that is how you wash a jungle man!” Jane exclaimed triumphantly.
No comments:
Post a Comment